


Assassassin's Creed: Murderer for Justice

by Will_Keaton



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Bad Fic, Deliberate Badfic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 12:50:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Will_Keaton/pseuds/Will_Keaton
Summary: Desmond Miles enters the Animus, but things aren't quite right...





	Assassassin's Creed: Murderer for Justice

Desmond Miles awoke to find that, like many mornings, he had a terrible headache. Nothing terribly unusual about that, not for a bartender who likes to experiment with new drink mixes the way he did. However unlike most other mornings he found to his considerable alarm that he was most definitely NOT in his apartment. While that was a bit more unusual it still wasn't as though such a thing was unprecedented. Hell, just look at what happened at that last New Years party he went to. Though he couldn't recall the last time he woke up inside an all white and grey room with several security cameras following his every movement.

Where exactly was he? How did he get here? Well the pounding in his head probably had something to do with that last part. He had almost certainly been drugged, though it was possible he had put too much vodka in his signature Scimitar Splicer again.

The door to his room slid open and an elderly gentleman in a lab coat stepped into the doorway. "Ah, Mr. Miles. It's good to see that you are awake. Now we can finally begin the procedure." He spoke in an impatient tone as he sipped from a mug of coffee.

"You twisted little-" Desmond shouted as he stood up, promptly lost his balance and began to stagger. Maybe he should wait until the pounding in his head stopped before trying to stand up so fast.

"Yes, yes. I'm sure you have some issues with your rapid resettlement that you would care to work out but we are quite pressed for time, so if you would follow me…" he trailed off as he stepped outside.

Confused and not sure what else to do Desmond followed him.

Outside Desmond was greeted by more of the same sterile decor, the abrasive doctor still drinking his coffee and an attractive looking young woman standing next to what appeared to be a hospital examination bed or something.

"Now quickly, onto the Animus so that we may begin." The old man pointed toward the odd-looking bed.

"Woah, hold on a second. I'm not doing anything until somebody explains to me where I am and exactly what I'm doing here." He may be suffering from the hangover of the century, but Desmond was sure he could still sound intimidating to an old guy dressed in a lab coat.

"There is hardly time for such trivialities," the doctor vented.

The young woman approached the man and spoke for the first time since Desmond had entered. "Dr. Vidic, don't you think he deserves an explanation? Besides, he's likely to be more co-operative with us if we treat him more like a human being and less like a lab rat." Lab rat huh? That didn't sound promising. Though he had to admit he liked the warm tone of this woman a hell of a lot more than that disinterested, uncaring quality in the old man's voice.

"Very well then Lucy. If it is absolutely necessary." With an aggravated sigh the doctor took another sip from his mug and began to speak. "I am Doctor Warren Vidic and this is my assistant Lucy." He made a small gesture towards the young woman. "You have been brought here because of some very, shall we say, sensitive information that is locked up inside your head."

"Information?! I'm a bartender for crissakes! What do you want me to do? Teach you how to mix a martini?!"

"Hardly," Dr. Vidic said dismissively as he put his mug back to his lips. "The information we require isn't so easy to access. Which brings us to, this." Walking over to the odd-looking exam table he put his free hand on it and ran it down the length of the device. "This is the Animus. A sophisticated and ingeniously designed piece of equipment that will allow us to peer into the genetic memories of our 'subjects.' Specifically, your genetic memories Mr. Miles."

"Excuse me? My what?'

"Genetic memory." This answer came from Lucy. "Dr. Vidic has a hypothesis-"

"It is more than just a hypothesis!" Vidic snapped back. "The mere fact that the Animus works at all is more than enough proof-of-concept!"

"Right. Sorry doctor." Lucy answered as though she had been through this a hundred times before. "Anyway, Dr. Vidic's... research, is based on the concept of genetic memory. That is to say, memory that is stored in your genetic material."

Desmond began to digest this information. "Okay. I guess, that sort of makes sense. If you have a PHD in biology. I still don't see what this has to do with me."

"It is not YOUR memories that we are after Mr. Miles." Dr. Vidic began to lecture, "You see, the concept of genetic memory allows for information to be passed on from one generation to the next. Not just things like blood type and hair colour but the recollection of past events as experienced by our ancestors. In this specific instance we wish to observe the memories of an assassin who operated within the Holy Land at the time of the Third Crusade."

Desmond started to get the picture. Or at least he thought he did. "So you kidnapped me so you could use this fancy do-hickey to look into my brain for a memory that belongs to one of my dead relatives?"

"A crude depiction, but accurate enough. Now would you please enter the Animus so that we may begin?"

"Thanks but no thanks Doc," Desmond answered. "Now, if you'll excuse me I think I'll show myself out." He turned and made his way to the door.

Dr. Vidic scoffed at this last remark. "Mr. Miles, we went to a great deal of trouble to remove you from your apartment. Do you honestly believe that you can simply walk out the door?"

Desmond stopped. Whoever these people were they certainly had resources. They had kidnapped him right out of his apartment and placed him in some weird sci-fi lab where they planned to take a peek inside his head. Somehow he got the impression they weren't going to take no for an answer.

Lucy stepped forward. "Desmond please. I know this is a lot to take in all at once but it's really in your best interests to co-operate." Something about her voice made Desmond instinctively trust her.

After a brief pause Dr. Vidic gave out the command again, this time much more firmly. "Lay down on the Animus so that we may begin the procedure."

Desmond looked from Lucy, to the Doctor, then over to the door and finally to the Animus. Realizing he really didn't have any choice in the matter he walked over to the device and lay down on it. "Alright then. Let's get this ball rolling."

"Good. Good." Dr. Vidic purred as the machine activated and a screen seemed to materialize over Desmond's head.

"Remember, there might be some momentary discomfort..."

 

Assassassin's Creed: Murderer for Justice

Castz of the people:

Altair: The Badass  
Al Mualim: The leador of the Assassassin guys  
Robert de Sable: He im bad guy  
Tamir: The bestest arm dealer in all of Damascus  
Garnier: The Bad Doctor of Acre  
Talal: Pet shop owner who totally doesn't sell slaves  
Abu'l Nuqoud: Fat rich dude in Damascus  
William de Monferrat: Him are planning to kill King Richard  
Majd Addin: Like to excecute people in Jerusalem  
Sibrand: Guy with teh boat  
Jubair: Him likey books not very much  
Richard the Lionheart: He owns the England place

 

Chapter oNe

Altair sleeked silently through the shadows in the cave. He came upon and old man who was standing in his way and thought to kill him a lot. So he did.

"why did you kill that man? 1 of his partnors sad He was an innocent and he didn't have to die."

alteir looked at him and said, " he was in the way so I killed huim. If you want to complain than I kill U two." Said ulteir.

They keeped going through the caves until they find what the three of them were their to find. The Ark of the Covenant.

It is "the arkof the covenent and we need to have it" Altire remarked. But before he could some people walked in and tried to take it.

"Oh no you don't" atlere jumped down and tried to kill the some people but they were too many and he couldn't. instead he turned and he run away.

It was later back at the fortress of Masayaf when lAteir came back to tell his master what had happened. He was not happy beacuse Alter had screwed up the mission. "alter you have failed,' Al Mualim tolded his dispile. "now Robert who was the man you tried to kill but falled to kill now has the ARK OF THE COVENANT for now.""No he doesn't" camed a voice that was familiar. One of those guys who was helping Ltier earlier came in with the urk of the convent!!!

"My brother who was also with us when we tried to find the ark Of The covenent died but I din't and so I brought it back even though altire was stupid and broke the Assassassin's Creed.s

"Altiree is this true"? said All Mulum enraged at the breaking of the creed which he liked very much.

"Yes it iz true my master who is my master and who I must obey cuz yu is my master! Him screwed up the mission and gotted other guy killed and also made me forgot where my arm is." Said that other guy who pointed to hiz arm which wasn't an arm anymore but was instead a not-arm.

"oh glorious leader !" screamed a man as he burst inside the chambers where they were in deep conversing. "Robot has marched his armed army up to the foretress gate and wants his urk of covenent back and he says we suck!" Also; Hallowed are The Ori."

This is a bad thing ali muliin announced ass he stoked his long and wise beard. "fortuitously I have a plan that will stop them and it is also a plan that is very clever he said. "this is the thing that you will do. And oltire knew he would do the plan Because almualin was hiz master and he would do whatever he said.

While Roberts forces stood standing outside the foretress Litire climbed to the top of the fortress and said "look at me!" and lo! all those people did look at him and then they watched as he said> "We are all such badasses that we jump to our deaths every morning before breakfast because we are such badasses." And then lItitre leaped a great leap as he leaped from the toop of the fotress.

"Oh! now" Robot cried " how canw E ever hope to defeated such a bad group of badasssess?!"

"Wait cried a guy who was one of Robrots' friends. "That guy isn't dead. He Landed in a pile of hey!>

he was righttoo as Altrer climber climbed out of the piles of hey because he was smart and knew hey was good at landing in so U wouldn't die from falls.

"No" cried roBert. "He is dead and the guy who's is climbing out of the hey is only a trick! wE will turn and run away and we will run Bcuz we cannot defeet these badasses, butt here me guys who live in that place! WE. Will be back! And then you will fall beneath our mighty might as you die a lot!""" and Rbot turned and he run away with his arny.

It wuz later back inside the inside of the foretress and al muluim was happy at Atier because he did the thing with the hey but, he wuz also the upset with him. "Eltiere you have brokened the three rulz of the Assassassin's creed."

I am sorry a lot master" Said atlere but he wasn't relly sorry because he was that much badass.

"Now repeat me for the three rules of the Assassassin' creed. Nevermind I will tell U coase you seemed to be the forget."

The Assassassin's Creed:

Rule No. 1: Only kills the people who are the ones I tell you to kill.  
The Second Law: You do NOT talk about Assassassin's creed.  
The rule 3: I forget.

"I am sorry master aloi muliam" altir appolgized but he didn't meen it cuz he wuz such a badass.

"Now that you have broken these rules you must be punished. As your panishement I will take away your pants!"

"No?" cried Altrerere but he let the mASSter take his pants anyway because he was his master and he had too do whatever he say to do.

"F U want to have your pants back then you must Assassassinate these nine dudes that I tell you to kill." Master mualim al said as he sat down at the desk that was his and made his fingers into the steeples.

"yes I will. Do the things you tell me to do mastor becus yo are my master and I will doo the thangs that you tellz me tWo." Altire sid.

But he was still a badass.

 

Part 2

It wuz a little while later that ALTir was in the city place thatwas called Damascus because his supposed to kill a guy there named Tamir Bcause his master said so and he had to do whatever his master said because he was his master.

But before Ctrl-Alt-air could Assassassinate the Tamer he had to learn stuff about him so he reconnaissanced. As he walked down the street he reached into a man's pants and he pulled out a piece of paper that had a bunch of stuff that was written on it. It was portant stuff about Tamirr and that is why it was there beans in that man?s pants. Now Alterrier could Assassassineat the Tammir person like his Master had told Him two so He cold get his Pants buck.

theAltier found his target in the street arguing with a person who he was having an argument with. Also. The argument was the kind that happened right next two a fountain that had water in it.

"I AM the bestest arm dealer in all of damn-ass!" shouted taMir at the man he was shouting at?

"I know that u are the bestest arm dealer in all of dammas." Said the other person who was getting yelled at by tamiR. 'But I couldn't not get U the pony lick U asked 4."

"I am angry now!" Tanir shouted and he wuz telling the truth cuz he was really angry. In fact he wuz sooo angrey that he took a knife and he stabbed the other guy in the head with it and then he was dead. Not the Timar, the other guy. Then he throwed him in the fountain cuz he thought that would be a cool thing to do so he did it.

Alteer then got an idear because he was not only a badass he was also a smart badass and that made his ass even more bad. "I can get ur pony here right soon!" altire told the head-stabbing type man that he was supposed to Assassassinate.

"Really can? U?" said the Tameer who was a surprise by this fortuitous turn of good things.

"yes but first U must have sex with mee.'

'Oky let's sex so I can have my pony' Tamire sad falling straight into the trap of his trapper who was a badass and also smart.

The two men stood in front of the fountain and sexed each other, being a badass who was also of the kind that wuz sexy all-tire was good at the sex. Fter the sex the tamier said' where is my pony? and alteer said "it is right here." But he was lying because he did not have a pony for a finger but it wuz instead a really cool knife and he stucked it inside tamirrs head and then he died. Tamr, not altiere.

 

Chapter number the Third

"Alelier you had done a very good job by killing that man that I told you to be the killing and that makes you a good boy" Al mullum told the altierr who had returned from his killing."

"I did it because you are my aster and I doo anything u tell me do." Altjer responded. "Can I have my pants back know?' 'no U canot the masetr told him. "now go and kill more people." "OK" Alpier answered and walked outside."

A man walked up to him in the courtyard and said. "Altair! It seems my students do not fully understand what it is to wield a blade. Perhaps you can show them what you know." Altair stabbed the man in the head with a knife. "You must be busy! I understand."

Altreier then walked all the way to the city of Acre which was a city that had popple living inside of it.

"now I must find the person that I ham supposed to kill. Buthow do I find him?!" he thoughted to himself in deep think. Then like he blight light shinnering down from aboove the answer was stuffed to him. Alterere waled up to a man,s and punched him in the face until he found out all the stuffs he needed to know to kill the guy he haid too kill. 'hiz name is Garneir and he woks inside of a hospital and does things."

"what thingsZ?! ' Nltier ansked inan angry tone. "Hospitilizing." was the answer that he was the get, "of course it's so obvious:' becuz he solved the cunspirayzee altier stabbed the man in the face and wen to go to the hospital, but not cuz he wuz sick, he is too much assbad to get the sik.

It the hosepital in AKA there was a a man who was doing the runnig around and screaming. Then some people grabbed him and Garner walked up to him. said, "u's is the sic. Your feet are the wrong shape but me can make it better. I is doctor." Garneer then took hammer and smashed both man's feet with it. He screamed a lot. "Their! All better!"

alteirgot an idea nd walked under to Garneir and said. "Ihas a headache."

"Okay" Mr.Garnier said back."then I hit you in head with ahmmer."

"sure fine bit 1st lets sex'

okay sex is good too." And the two men made sweet man-love in the sick-people-place. "after Garniir asked now what was we doing before?'

"you sad you had achehead Ultir answered cleverly.

"of course, then you hit me in head with hammer!" Gardener gived the hammer to Ultar and then Altir hit him in the head with it and cured his headache and also killed him a little.

Bee cuz he had Assassassinatteded some guys Alttree was happy so he went to Jerusalem to kills more peoplz cuz that was his job and he was good at the job that he was good at.

Inside Jeruselem AItire met a man who was aman who was also a guy who worked for his master and had to do whatever his mater sya cuz he wus his musturd. but. He wasn't not has badasss as Altieer. "I will help u very much if you give me back flags eye dropped in the place beecause ei need the flags an I don't have them and I am also need them."

"Oky' Alltieair respondeded and he ran around that jeruslum place tilled the flags he finded were finded.

"u give me back flags. Now, I, tell u stuff aboot Talal who u kill now.""he runss slave shop over on one side of town that isn't this sidfe of town butt is that other side oft own."

Altie was happy that he knowed stuff and could kill Talel now so he runned lots to go to Tilals shop were he had a shop.

"ello, can i help you twoday?' he axed as Atier walked into store."

"yes you can maybe need iSlave."

"does you have monies?' the Tamol asked because he wanted money's

"I haven't not no's moony but I can sex."

That can be good too also." Hamal said. Then the y had the sex therir in shop we're the salves locked at them through the cagges.

"now slav?" Tammil aksed"

Altyer shooked head and say 'no, now die," and he stabbed Tammy in the face and walked away.

 

Part Eye-Vee

Altair stubbed his toe.

 

Part: The part that comes after the part that came before this part

Almualaim was happy at alteire and he told him so but he still did not give back pants." U still have too kill sex people so go and kil them he said." So alteerei walked outside.

A man walked up to him in the courtyard and said. "Altair! It seems my students do not fully understand what it is to wield a blade. Perhaps you can show them what you know." Altair stabbed the man in the head with a knife. "You must be busy! I understand."

Soon alteerr wuz in the damas again bee-cause his was a badass. , as him walked up the srteet heim hard two man's talking about the man's he had two kill who was called Abu'l Nuqoud. "he's has a party with food and a wine today at his palace today." Sad one of the guys.

8er inside the place thet abu luqoud had there was a party and Oltieir was knew about it so him was there also too., p[eoplz waare dinnking the wine out of the fontain and hen mister abool nuquad walked out and said. Some things.

"I do n't like u mean pleoplz cuz you make fun offme cuz I have the sex with other man's. that is Y i put Red Bull in the wine."

"No?!" sceamed the peope whoio screamed. soon they stated to die from the red bull and that was bad for them.

Alkier walked up too aboliquid and told him said,' I don't think u stupid cause u have sex with man's. I like also manse-x too."

:Oh goodie ' Anrbol nuquid said. Then them's two made with lotz off sex while the pople were die from red bul.

'yu is onced person who dosn'e think im' stupid for have sex with men. ' abl nuqid sadi.

'you is wrong. 'man's who sex has man with is icky. That are why you die cow." Then Eltier stabbed guy in head and walk away because he totally wasn't gay.

After that stuuf altair when to go to be in acka again to kill a guy that his mustard told him to kill so he was doing that.

Altiar walked up too a guy who worked with the Assassassin's glue and this is the thing that he sid. "I need to kill 4 people buy noon today but is now only three minutes left so you help me, then you kill 2 and I kill two and I tell stuff to you about guy who you need kill also."

Aliar was such a badass him could kill all fore dudes in those tree minute but he help anywho. He pushe one guy off roof and he die from neck snapping. Ten Atiar walked up too other guy and shove sword into his stomah and that made him unhappy and also he bleeded two death. Not Altiar, that guy with sword in stomach.

"now I help you kills them guys." What can you tell about targt.?

"him name William, he are standing right over there." he other Assassassin guld person pointed to tew people talking across them street. "he talked to Richard King of England and he also plan too kill him also I here. Also; Hallowed are The Ori."

Altareier walked up two the two man's. He needed a plan two kill Billiam. But he couldn't think off one then he though of one.

He walked up to the two peoples and said , "hey u want sex?"

"bith mans looked at him and told him no" Alteres plan failed. He was sad. Butt soon he had different plan that couldn't fail.

"Let's all three have sex!'

Both's men looked at him and said "okay!" Soon altere had wicked threesome with Wet-willy and Richard the Lionheart, King of England.

"this was good sex now what.?" Riichie asked.

"now I have kill willy cause my master said so and I do whatever he says because I'm a badass." Then Antler shoved sword up will's butt and walked away.

Then Ant-lier remombered abut sword and cum back and take it out of butt and walked away.

Then Alterir reembered too kill willam so he went back and did that too.

Nex thing that happened Altira went to Jarasalam too kill guy next. Wen getty their he climb to top off really big towar so that him was way above whole city and man's looked like little aunts below him. Then he seed Majd Addin standing at the gallows and Alltair was happy because Mad Adding was the man he was supposed to be killing.

Soon Atlari was at the gallows nd he canned see MAj AddN was having an execution party. Some man's wore ready to be hanged a lot and the men he kneaded to Assassassin8 started to do the talking.

"these mans are all bad mans who are evil and have the need to be dead. This man Kicked a puppy. This man's porridge was too cold. This man knows how tu reed. And this man didn't kick ANY puppy's."

The crowd gasped in awe aat the horrable crimez thoat had bean acted out inside the city they war inside.

Altererere runned up to the Majj person and scrammed. "wait" I also has porridge that are two cold.

Maj smiled an evil smile that ran chills down a spine somewhere. "than you's are die also."

ALteiir also slimed which made an chill run up someon's spine sumewhere else. "Okay but I have last bequest."

"what iz last request ask Ma AjinD.

:I want sex with you while I hang from gallows."

Okay' Mai said, he knowwed that he would kill this guy anyway even if sex whil hanging.

In a miute the fore other men started to hang while Altaair had the sex with Maji. Also Altaiir was the hanging also wile the sex. Tbut Ltair was clever and while he sexed Majaddn he slipped rope aroung him's neck so he was strageld to the death.

Atari walked away from the Jarrewslum and when back to the master that he had to do whatever he said to do because him were his master.

But his ass was still bad.

 

Issue Number Sex

Captain Spencer had a super arm that was bionic and that is the reason he was told he was the person to go into enemy terrier-tory to rascue super Joe who was super. And Joe.

The man who was a man with a coool arm fough off many super Nazi's from the year 198X and he shooted them lots whith his gun.

Soon him had find puper Joe but there was a problem. Adolf Hitler walked up and says. "What, you're going to fight against me? You damn fool."

Then in a raging fit of rage Spancer shooted Hitler in the face with a bazooka and watched as Hitler's head exploded.

"that waz cool.' He said to Hilter. "let's make the sex."

"Pokay let's sex" Hitler agreed and they made with many sex commando style.

 

The Seventh numbered chapter

Them was later at the Assassassins place they lived in. Iltare was there with mr. aL Mualin and they wore deep in the conversed.

"Antleir good news is I give for yo." A mowlin was the said. "we did the open the Ork of the Convention."

"What You Say?" this moose was a very shocking moose. 'How does this become?"

Ol Mulainm said" It happen this way."

Wild Urk of the covenant attacked!

The Assassassin's Guld send out Al Mualini and expendable guy.

L Mualimn used stroke beard.

The attack were ineffective.

Expandable guy useed OPEN on the Urk of the Convent.

The attack was super duper effective!

Erk of the covenant used Wrath of God!

Expendable guys face was the melt off.

Al meowlim was protected by his totally sweet beard.

Ill Mulan defeated Urk of the Covenenenet.

La Nuolan got -414.35 exp points.

Al mulmiam found 'Piece of Eden' inside Urk of the Covenant.

"Okay storry time over. Now it are time U resume the killing of the poeplez." So Altr walk outside into courtyard.

A man walked up to him in the courtyard and said. "Altair! It seems my students do not fully understand what it is to wield a blade. Perhaps you can show them what you know." Altair stabbed the man in the head with a knife. "You must be busy! I understand."

Some time decided to pass and then Oltarerer wuz in Aacra again looking for Sibrand who he was the killer to be. He finded him arguing with man in front of Sigrands special boat Mr. McBoatyboat.

"U iz teh Assassassin! You tray to kill me!" the siberand was the shouter.

The other man was now the speak. "I isn't Assassassin"

"Yes you is! I know Assassassin trying to kill the me has no pants!" Siburnd's genus was the stounding. 'And you have zero pants also! U is the Assassassin!"

"No! I know wearer the pants beacuse you walk into bathroom whil I go potty.!'

"Lies! You get the dead now." And mrs. Figrand made it so. Now thet Assassassin are dad I celebate. Who want's sweet undarwator sex/!?"

I"Doos the altarir person said. and they two made the sweet sex while the underwaiter. They hade so much teh Sax for so long thet Sigrundy was a drowner. But senoir Altair was such a badass that he didn't not drown at all.

In fact Altimitir was such a good not drowner his self was soon in the Dammus again cause he needed too bee their again for more killing again. This time the kille type person was named Jubair and him was soon to be the no longer breathing decause Ol Mualin said so and him must do whatever he says because him iz his master.

Soon Alteeeer had found the victim dood standing infont of some books that were on a fire that was hot and also burning cus its was a fire and theat's wheat fires doo.

"Them's boooks are Avatars of the evil and the knowing too many things!" Mr. IWillSoonBeAVeryDeadMan said. "also, this one called me a sissypants." The cowd was teh gaspsorz at this because that book had terrible mannors.

"Wait soon minute!" cried one dude in the crowd who was a dood in the crowd. And he was also upset too and tha reason why he said is, "I like those books lotsz. They has words in them und that cakes them cool and also they are square and aquare is a shape that is nice.

This man likes the boooks to much too be man, ' said Jubbar "him must also be book! Then we burn him also very much too!" And then Jolbert grabbed the man who may have been a bok and throwed him in the onto the fire. Then him did burn up and possibly dieded a little.

Altriei didn't not stroke his beard when he was a thinker ecause he didn't have one but he still had a plan that could kill the guy he wanted to grill and that is what he would do with tha plan that he thought up.

But first he sexed Jabubor a lots.

"Them's was the good sexeness," sad Jumbilar.

"yass it weres but we has problem." Akiar was cleverly said. Than he grabbed a book type thing end wrapped out a page and then he putted it in sum water that was also in the place that they was and then he made th page sticky to Jubilees chest. "Now you is are a book also too as well."

"No!" Crayed the man who wuz know a book. "I must put an bend to the evils of dooks everywhere in all type places!" And then he jumped into the fire to become a little bit more the dad than he was before he was the fire jumper inner.

 

Infraction Ate

"Allyteer you is the man who is good work doer." Al Mualini was said to his favoritesed person who was a type of killer person. "Now all U are bee having too doo is kill Robert das Sibble. Hims are the evil because him are this wanter." He then holded up in his hand the Piece of Eden.

"Why should Reboot want the thing that your having now?" Altarei inquistited inquistedtily.

"Him are liking to posses this Edn Piece because it are shiny." Ul Muilum was the sayer. "Now if you are the killer of Roebot then I can give you back the pants that are yours."

"I will not fall you master." sad Ulteeeeeer and he wasn't going ttwo cause his was the badass. The nhe walked into the outside.

A man walked up to him in the courtyard and said. "Altair! It seems my students do not fully understand what it is to wield a blade. Perhaps you can show them what you know." Altair stabbed the man in the head with a knife. "You must be busy! I understand."

It weres some time aftor that that that Alterii finded his way to the Jerryasylum agin. Because he knowded that Robart was going to see a funerale he went to goo to tha gravyard place whar their wus some people that hed had killed were the burrying.

"this mans wus once a man who wasn't so dead but know he is deader than he used to be so we put the dead man in the ground with other dead peepLs who aare also dead but may or may not bee deader than the dead guy we jst put in the ground with the other dead guys." The guy in charge of the funerail speakeings poked in a stirring speechy that mud everyone burst onto tears. "Also; Hallowed are the Ori."

"Hollows are the Ori," the crowd repeated ina repeatititiousy fashion.

All-star-tire cud see the man he needead to kill standing next to the talky speeching person. At least he thinked it were him because he was waring a helmat but Al-tie-air was the smart so he knew he couldn't not be wrong. OR COULD HE? No he couldn't.

Him walked up to Ropert and began to assassassinate him. "You want have sex?!"

"Yessex" Robbertt was the sayer. He tooked of his helmat and ALtear could see now that Roobort was a the girl! Or maybe it wasn't really Robobert but was actually a girl instead. Yes. That is what he thinked.

"Ew, I no want sex with you! I is assassassin, why I have sex with person I kill? that silly-dumb!" Atair sad. "I also don't kill you cus you not the Robbert and I also no sex you very much please thank you." I Do kill you sum though." And Antleir did the killy by stabbing the girl in the face with a knife.

After doing the thing he did altery went to find King Pichard who was a king and owned that England. Him was lucky because Roboto was also standering right next-to-beside the king of the Ngland place.

"Stop mr. king of engrand! That man who is they;re is a bad man and he ants to give you big boo-boo!"

Mr. Richard did the turny to Rottingboat and asked him "is thi's a true thing?!?'

Roberty was a shcoked. "No it isn't not rue! He be a lyer. Also him smell like cowpoo!"

"No" akleer was now to say. "I can prove him are lyinger type man!"

"Okay!" English king say; "their will be only the one kind of way we can know the how solving this!" You two have sex with each other than one of you kills that other sound fair?"

Both Rroobbeerrtt and Aallttaaiirr agreed and sexed each other very a lot. Then they had a fight with some swords and that fight wuz cool but soon riatlA was able to use his sword to make that thing happen where a person's head-thing come's off? Yeah. He did that thing to Roboobert.

"Congartulations! A winner is you!" Richard Lionpants said.

"Cool!" and Alteier was the right casue now he could go back to home and get his pants back cus he liked to where pants. Butt little didn't he no;t know that things were different than the thigns he was expectering to bee.?..!

 

Chapter 3 x (6 + 4 - 7)

Soon the badass who was also Alterei was back at the home where he lived so him could speaky with Al Mallet who was his master. Upon the walking into town thought he meted a person who said a thing that was strange.

"all hail Al Mualim!" he sad to the outloud!

"What are the you talking about for!"

The man who was not a woman but was a man and not a tree said back. "We all whore-ship Al Mauling now because he has the shiny!" Also; Hallowed are The Ori!"

This was madness! Al MAulini was his master! Now other people wanted to worship him two! This was wrong and stuff. Also Altteer wanted his pants back too.

Altr walked in a walky fashion up to the Al Maulins house which wsa also this his house and talked with him.. "I kill those poople likes yu say me too!" he said (altiaer, not al mualin) "Now you pants give!"

"Okay" Al Mualingn say back

/rEally?" A/tair was happy to get his pants back finally now.

"NO!" Al nilaum was to say to the person him could talke to now. "your pants belong too me now! Also the entire world! Because I has this!!!!!!!!" And he holdeded uop the peace of Eden ehich was shiny.

"So shiny. Must worship, the shiny.. " ?ltair said as he worshipped the shiny.

"yes, now you and the whole woldr will worshap mee because that is what I want and also I'm not very good at sharing." Al Maulin gloated gloatfully but then he falled down stars and drooped the peace of eden which was shiny.

"You is bAd man! Altr say much now. "you no give me back my pants!!! Also you have me kill nine poople and try to take over wordl. You are made of Traitor! I kills you sum now!" And Alteir assassassinated the almuaulin by having sex him. Also he killed him I guess.

And Altair And The Piece Of Eden Lived Happily Ever After. But alter still never gotted his pants back.

THE END!

OR IS IT?

NO IT REALLY IS!

BUT MAYBE NOT.

WILL ALTAIR GET HIS PANTS BACK? FIND OUT NEXT TIME. SAME ASSASSASSIN TIME SAME ASSASSASSIN CHANNEL.

OR DON'T CAUSE THERE IS NOT SEQUEL AND THIS IS THE END.

BUT IT ISN'T!

TO BE CONTINUED.

REALLY THE END THIS TIME I PROMISE!

OKAY I LIE.

 

The image dissolved in front of him and Desmond sat bolt upright in the bed.

"What in the hell was that supposed to be!?"

Dr. Vidic seemed only mildly disconcerted by this outburst. "Clearly the Animus still has a few bugs that need to be worked out."

"Ya think!?" Desmond shouted, visibly upset.

"Desmond, please try and stay calm." Lucy tried her best to sound reassuring.

Dr. Vidic took another sip from his coffee mug. "This is only a temporary setback. I'm sure the next session will prove to be more fruitful."

Desmond was appalled. "Next session!? Are you out of your freakin mind? I'm not going back inside that thing!"

"Mr. Miles. Might I remind you that you don't have any choice in the matter?"

His eyes darting around Desmond could make out a large window on the far side of the room. "That's what you think Doc!" He stood up and ran as fast as he could towards the window.

The impact sent him reeling back but Desmond could see the window had begun to crack. Looking through the glass he realized he was at least sixty stories above the ground. The odds of him surviving a fall like that weren't good. Still, anything was better than going back inside that thing.

"Desmond! Stop! Please!" Lucy's cries went unheeded as Desmond broke through the window and plummeted down the outside of the building.

Stunned, Lucy walked over to a chair, sat down and put her head in her hands. "Oh, Doctor. What are we going to do now?"

Dr. Vidic looked down at his mug and noted that it was empty. "Simple my dear. We get some more coffee."


End file.
